Hello there! submitted by jonathancozzo to Screenwriting [link] [comments] If you’ll allow me, let me tell you about this screenplay called ‘Eleven-7’. I’ve been working on it for almost two years now and it’s been selected to Scriptapalooza and other competitions (but didn’t make it to the final stages). I managed to get it read by a few players in the business and was hoping it’d be my entrance to the feature film world but I’m feeling more and more like that’s not gonna happen. But whether or not this story ever makes it to the big screen, I’d love to share it with you here and now, in as entertaining a way as I can. My aim really is to try and make it come to life in your mind through a collage showing you my vision, guiding you along the main events of the story, with visual references, songs selected for specific scenes, a dream cast and crew, and talk about some of my inspirations. It’s not a full summary of the script - simply because I don’t think those ever did justice to the stories they summarized - but it’ll give you a clear sense of what I feel this film could (and should) be. And hopefully it’ll make you want to read the script or even wish you could watch the movie! Who knows, maybe a couple people will enjoy the whole thing and my efforts will not have been in vain. Disclaimer: This is an experimental post that’s been approved by the mods. You should also know it’s going to run a little long, but please don’t freak out. https://preview.redd.it/zyux4i8q9jz11.jpg?width=1760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=891c48f04109b97101a1c5ebc8724935d3580da7 SynopsisMaking a living with the art you create, now wouldn’t that be the dream! That’s all AKIRA and MIKE can talk about: the former is trying to get a novel published, the latter his music career going. But right now, these two twenty-somethings are stuck with the clerk job they got, working in a lousy all-night convenience store in some anonymous Chinatown.As their shift starts something feels off though, and before they know it the place becomes the battleground for Chinese Triads and Japanese Yakuza. To survive the night inside the store, the clerks will have to face modern-day samurai, geisha, rotten cops and a full-on mob war. A cross between ‘Clerks’ and ‘Kill Bill’ you might call it, and you wouldn’t be far off. Underlying themesSure I intend ‘Eleven-7’ to be as entertaining a movie as possible. But at the end of the day, beyond all the thrills and fun of it, it’s really a movie about the feeling of belonging, the need to find one’s place in life and to be centered… put against the crushing reality of racism and intolerance.What I want to tap into and explore is the sense of frustration that piles up when you can’t seem to make any progress toward reaching that goal. A feeling I seem to share with people around the same age (you know, those pesky millennials walking around like they rent the place? Them). ... But first things first. When I close my eyes and picture the film in my mind, here’s how I see the place: Credit: Patrick Clelland Credit : Elsa Bleda Fight Club - Directed by David Fincher Cowboy Bebop - Created by Hajime Yatate (In case you’re wondering, that upside-down-number-seven-looking thing in the logo at the top of the page is indeed the number 7 in Chinese and Japanese.) And here’re who come to mind for the two main characters: Ross Butler as Akira Kikuchiwa - Born in China, Raised in Japan, Schooled in Europe, Struggling in America Lakeith Stanfield as Mike Wyatt - Born and bred in Big City, USA ... But let’s get back to our story. The clerks’ night starts as it always does: boringly slow. Soon enough though, their first customer comes in, and he is quite a sight: very long, silky black hair with thin braids and tiny bells. Pale skin with dark makeup around the eyes to make them appear slanting. His beard, a perfectly groomed crossing between Fu Manchu and d’Artagnan. He’s wearing a baggy and colorful tracksuit, reminiscent of a kimono and hakama (the large traditional Japanese trousers worn for formal occasions). The finishing touch is the daisho hung on his belt: a matched pair of Japanese swords, one long, one short. We’ll call him THE SAMURAI-WANNABE. As the clerks spot him, they have to refrain their laughter. Adam Driver as The Samurai-Wannabe - Toshiro Mifune #1 Fan The Samurai-Wannabe glides through the aisles, studying their content. Mike keeps making fun of him but Akira starts on a rant over how that weirdo actually is the epitome of everything wrong with America. The good thing about it though, according to Akira, is: this widespread ignorance among Americans actually makes it easier for the artistic type to be successful in the US than anywhere else in the world, where people know better. Mike gets offended but they’re interrupted by the Samurai-Wannabe making a phone call putting his hand over his mouth, and then rushing out in a hurry. Mike: Please tell me it’s not gonna be one of those nights again.... Later on, the song 'Driftin and Driftin' is playing over the store’s speakers. The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - Driftin' and Driftin' - Live All of a sudden, another white man runs in. Sweaty, out of breath and scared out of his wits. He leans against a shelf and glances out the window, wary. And while the song’s instrumental chorus kicks in (2 min into the video above), with the whole horn section giving us a run for our money, Mike spots this man. The man of his dreams. The man we shall henceforth refer to as DREAM BOY. Timothée Chalamet as Dream Boy As he starts browsing, Mike decides to go talk to him. But before he can say anything, TRIADS MEMBERS burst into the store and wreck the place, searching for Dream Boy and threatening Akira. Mike helps Dream Boy sneak into the storage room unnoticed and escape through the service exit, setting off the alarm. The Triads chase after him, but not before warning the clerks they’ll be back for retribution. The clerks are in a complete state of shock. What’s more, they’re now being placed between a rock and a hard place because the store is actually used by the Yakuza - the Triads’ sworn enemies - to launder money. Mike: Dude, we’re just, so, f**ked. This is exactly the shit nightmares are made of, know what I mean. When the next best thing a black man and an Asian man can do is call the cops.... That’s the opening act in a nutshell. From there, as you can imagine, the clerks will fall deeper and deeper into trouble while trying to make it through the night alive. In order to spice things up a bit for Act 2, I’d like to talk you through a few set pieces in more details while focusing less on the narrative progression. Think of it as snippets that’d be used in the trailers, only longer and more developed. For your own reading pleasure. SWORD DUEL On one side, you’ve got: Shun Oguri as Itachi Shimura - Rightful heir to the Yakuza throne There’s something Christopher Walken about this guy’s ways. And he’s dressed like Kiryu from the 'Yakuza' video games. Kiryu from the 'Yakuza' video game series On the other side, the Samurai-Wannabe who just stepped in as katana-wielding Itachi was cornering the clerks. Samurai-Wannabe: Get away from ‘em, you bitch-ass!With his left thumb, Samurai Sam lifts his wakizashi, his shorter sword, a few centimeters from its sheath, thus gaining several precious milliseconds in case of drawing. The movement comes with a sharp, metallic cling sound. Itachi laughs his head off. Itachi: You never fail to bring a smile to my face, Sam, you know that.He takes slow, assured steps toward Itachi. His left hand still holding his sheath. Samurai Sam (In Japanese, with a noticeable American accent): I’ve warned you before, do no mock me.And so it begins. Now if I may, I’d like to point you in the direction of what I consider to be the greatest sword duel in the history of cinema. I’m referring of course to the climax of Japanese movie ‘Samurai Rebellion’, directed by Masaki Kobayashi and starring none other than Toshiro Mifune and Tatsuya Nakadai. 'Samurai Rebellion' Duel This scene’s cat-and-mouse game (if one can call it that) before the first blow is my main reference for the duel between Itachi and Samurai Sam. The fight arrives right at the end of Act 2 and will function as a release to all the tension that’s been building up until now. Therefore, before letting everything fly, I really want to get the audience worked up one last time to as critical a level as humanly possible. So, after a few minutes of gauging one another, circling one way, stopping, circling the other way, the duelists stop, strengthen their standing foot… And jump at each other. Samurai Sam is much quicker on the draw, his sword being shorter. The only way for Itachi to block Samurai Sam’s killing blow is to leave his blade in its sheath and parry with it. As the blades meet, a primal, drums-only song kicks in. This one: Hikaru Hayashi - Onibaba Samurai Sam is on the offensive, bombarding Itachi with hits and remaining very close to him to prevent him from drawing. Every time Itachi takes a step away to get some space between them, Samurai Sam rushes back in to close the gap. Itachi is struggling to keep up as Samurai Sam is proving to be a much better fighter than anticipated. The Yakuza starts fighting dirty, using his feet and elbows to strike Samurai Sam lightning-fast and painful blows. After a particularly strong attack, Itachi jumps back and creates an opportunity to finally draw his sword. As he’s taking his katana out, Samurai Sam runs and pushes it back in its sheath with the left hand while putting his blade on Itachi’s throat with the right hand. They freeze, staring each other in the eye, knowing Samurai Sam has won. Both are breathing heavily but otherwise remain silent. As Samurai Sam backs down and takes a step away, Itachi kicks him in the belly with his foot, effectively making him back up several yards away. Itachi draws his sword, holding it with one hand and the damaged sheath in the other. He’s asking for blood. Samurai Sam raises his sword and resumes his fighting stance. Now they begin to circle again. They both go on the attack with a deep grunt. The fight becoming even more brutal than before. Itachi is harassing Samurai Sam using both his sword and sheath, his reach being much longer than Samurai Sam’s. Samurai Sam is biding his time, blocking swing after swing, seemingly losing ground but working like a spring being compressed by an immense force. Eventually, Itachi gets cocky and Samurai Sam sees a window opening. He jumps in, all in, ready for the final blow. Only, Itachi set the trap perfectly and blocks Samurai Sam’s sword with his sheath. The attack is so strong, the blade gets stuck inside the splintered sheath. With one swift circular move, Itachi makes both his sheath and Samurai Sam’s sword fall down to the ground. As well as a thumb. Samurai Sam’s right thumb. Samurai Sam drops to his knees, holding his hand tight as thick, dark blood pours out. THE FIRE Following the duel, Itachi walks away without looking back, telling his Yakuza to torch the place down. As Tears Go By - Directed by Wong Kar-wai Akira: You’re not destroying my store, you hear.Itachi stops and turns his head around. He smiles, amused. Itachi: Beat ‘em up. Let ‘em burn too.... Some time later, Akira slowly comes to, hardly managing to open his eyes, feeling the pain going through his every muscle. He is lying on the floor, knocked out. He looks like he took a serious beating. And not the Hollywood-pretty kind. The now-you’re-really-gonna-be-in-pain-for-the-remainder-of-the-movie kind. His swollen, sweaty face catches the glowing light of a fire growing. Everything looks blurry to him. Beside him, two dark, indistinct shapes lie still on the floor. Most probably Mike and Samurai Sam. When Akira realizes the store is on fire, the fog clouding his mind clears up somewhat and he tries to stand up. But his bruised body doesn’t comply. All he can do is crawl pathetically and ploddingly. The first shape he encounters is that of Mike. After shouting his name, shaking him up and slapping him a few times, Akira manages to pull him out of his drowsiness. Samurai Sam won’t wake up though. And despite putting in everything they’ve got, the clerks barely manage to move him a couple of yards. The exit seems so far out of reach. Fire is in the way. And their eyes still can’t quite keep things in focus. The smoke is filling up the place and makes it harder and harder to breathe. All is lost. Or so it seemed: out of nowhere, four bright and colorful, little, blurry shapes pop out, flying around at incredible speed. A fifth, all black, soon joins in. Akira can’t believe his eyes. And freezes. Everything to him sounds like it’s taking place underwater. Maybe what he’s hearing are voices, who knows. Certainly not him. The colorful shapes spread a magic white dust over the fire, extinguishing the flames. Then they run to another fire source and do it all over again. Their frantic activity looks to Akira like it’s all a beautiful ballet in slow motion. Akira: Angels.He turns over and sees Mike being taken away by one of them. One of the angels floats over to Akira and leans over him. It’s a woman, A YOUNG JAPANESE WOMAN with a face as white as silk and bright red lips. A geisha. She’s saying something. But Akira can’t make out the words and remains serenely smiling, gazing at all her splendor. Karen Fukuhara as Kaori Oshiro Akira (Babbling): Kaori-san?The geisha repeats herself, to no avail. She loses patience, calls over another geisha and they drag Akira to a safe area. Akira (Still in a daze): Kaori-san, I must... tell you something.They leave him near the store counter, where Mike is already sitting down. A couple of geisha finish putting out the fire with fire extinguishers as the other three drag Samurai Sam near the clerks. When everyone is out of danger and everything is in the clear, the five women line up in front of the three men. The one in the center is A MIDDLE-AGED ASIAN WOMAN wearing a traditional black silk kimono with a black obi (sash). Li Gong as Himoko Shimura AKA Okasan - Proprietress of the Geisha house (Yep, I know, she’s not Japanese. But don’t worry, it’ll make sense when you read the whole script. And although I’m not going to reveal much about her character here, she’s actually at the very centre of the whole plot.) She also happens to be Itachi’s mother. The other four women look to be in their twenties. THE CLIMAX Obviously this film wouldn’t be any good as a single-location thriller without a huge Mexican standoff involving every single character for a climax. And so that’s what we’re doing here. But… I don’t really feel like going into the details. And it’s not because I’m particularly sadistic, it’s just that the payoff works best when everything has been set up thoroughly; and this would necessitate an even longer post. And nobody wants that. So what I’ll say is this: there’s this plan the clerks come up with to get everything nice and settled. It involves playing the Yakuza and Triads against one another, through the help of two cops (who happen to be working for the Triads). But it also requires they kill a man. A very bad man at that. But no matter what, however justified they might be, killing someone in cold blood is a big f**king deal. Anyway, as we get to the final set-piece, things don’t go as planned (duh, did I really need to write that?). One second, you think you’re home free, the next you’ve got a shotgun stuck in your face. People don’t react as you expected them to. And to make matters worse, as sh*t is about to get real, a mystery guest steps in. A MIDDLE-AGED, slightly grizzled, impeccably groomed, ASIAN MAN. Poker-faced, a long and thin cigar gracefully held in his mouth. And piercing eyes. Tony Leung Chiu-wai What happens next, you ask? Well, don’t look at me, ‘cause I won’t tell you. For that, you’ll need to read the screenplay for yourself. But I can promise you the extra effort will make the experience 100% better. And if you’ve read this far, well first of all, let me thank you dearly. I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to me. I do hope you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read. And that you’d like to know more. InspirationsAnd as it happens, just because I don’t want to give away the ending doesn’t mean I can’t tell you what inspired me to write that story. As you can imagine, this script owes a lot to movies I’ve watched and love.In terms of references, obviously I’m leaning toward Tarantino (namely 'Reservoir Dogs' and 'Kill Bill') and some Kevin Smith. But also early Guy Ritchie, and a good touch of Richard Linklater. So it’s basically very American-Independent-Cinema-of-the-90s oriented. But there’s also a whole lot of Japanese Yakuza movies of the 70s and Hong Kong Triads movies of the 90s going on as well … which kinda still makes it American-Independent-Cinema-of-the-90s oriented! And the main inspiration for me is Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku. You probably know (of) him through his final film: 'Battle Royale'. But his peak was in the 70s, a decade when he was churning out around three or four films a year, most of them involving Yakuza. His films offer a level of vitality seldom found in movies nowadays. His way of dealing with crowds, movements and rhythms is so engrossing that - in my view - it’s rarely surpassed (and only by master directors such as Akira Kurosawa and Orson Welles). His camerawork knows no equal when it comes to handheld - something I usually get tired of extremely quickly - and blending it with more traditional techniques. And I can’t praise his use of the zoom enough: after watching a couple of his films, you have to wonder why most filmmakers working today forgo such an amazing and powerful tool. I can also mention Seijun Suzuki, who was a pilar of the Japanese New Wave in the 60s. He made jazz-infused gangster movies, experimenting with the format, the sets and colors… Very trippy stuff. 'Cowboy Bebop', an awesome anime that I’ll recommend any day of the week even to people who don’t usually like anime. Put it simply, that series got everything: great characters, profound themes, an amazing art work and a killer soundtrack. It’s a noir story set in the future where we follow a bunch of down-on-their-luck bounty hunters looking for contracts all over the solar system. Obviously, Akira Kurosawa was never far away from my mind. And he didn’t just inspire the name of one of the main characters, I can tell you that. Putting it plainly, in my opinion, Kurosawa made more great - and even perfect - movies than any other director. Samurai, noir, thrillers, adventure… you name it, he did it and usually better than anybody else. Crossing over to China, and mentioning the obvious first: Wong Kar-wai. He’s one of the very few directors whose movies you can feel every frame of. You feel the walls, the rain, the fabric of the clothes, the make-up, the hair lotions… And needless to say, you feel for the characters as well. My personal favorite is '2046'. Any Hong Kong movie made in the 90s or early-00s starring Tony Leung also is a personal must-watch. From John Woo flicks to the ‘Infernal Affairs’ trilogy (remade by Scorsese as ‘The Departed’), you can’t go wrong. Which also applies to the films starring Chow Yun-fat. French neo-noir master Jean-Pierre Melville. Before Michael Mann came along, he was the absolute king of the mute protagonist. His writing and directing are both economical and slick. NWR’s ‘Drive’ would just not be the same without the films of “L’Homme au Stetson” (the Man wearing the Stetson). Oh man, I realize I’m getting so worked up thinking about all those movies. I’ll try and contain myself and just make a little list. But before that, some novels were also a great source of inspiration. Elmore Leonard comes to mind first and foremost. More than specific stories, it’s his incredible way of writing that influenced me. What’s truly amazing about it is he limits himself to pretty basic grammar, a small number of words (couple hundreds), no adverbs, and his descriptions are always written from the chapter’s main character’s point of view. Leonard’s style doesn’t bring attention to itself (one of his rules is “If it sounds like writing, rewrite it”) and yet it’s recognizable in just a few sentences and I don’t think it has any equals. The thing is, his writing always feels right for the story he’s telling. That’s something that inspires me a lot and that I try to incorporate in my own work (but I’ll admit I can’t bring myself to ban adverbs!). Mood boardHere are visuals from various sources that I think convey quite well the atmosphere, the textures and colors I have in mind for this movie. Credit: M. Vida Ilych (edited) Credit: Toby Harvard Credit: Liam Wong Credit: Luciana Giachino Nobody Knows - Directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda I’ve reached the limit of allowed pictures in one post (20) I'm afraid. So I’ll just add a few films which visuals are close to what I picture 'Eleven-7' to look like: Fight Club, directed by David Fincher Taxi Driver, directed by Martin Scorsese 25th Hour, directed by Spike Lee Norma Rae, directed by Martin Ritt Buffalo ’66 directed by Vincent Gallo As Tears Go By directed by Wong Kar-wai Happy Together directed by Wong Kar-wai Suggested viewing and readingKinji FukasakuGamblers in Okinawa AKA Sympathy for the Underdog (Bakuto gaijin butai) Graveyard of Honor (Jingi no hakaba) Battles Without Honor and Humanity AKA The Yakuza Papers (Jingi naki tatakai) Seijun Suzuki Tokyo Drifter (Tokyo Nagaremono) Branded to Kill (Koroshi no rakuin) Akira Kurosawa Yōjinbō Throne of Blood (Kumonosu-jô) High and Low (Tengoku to Jigoku) Johnny To The Mission Exiled John Woo Hard boiled Bullet in the Head Tsui Hark A Better Tomorrow Ringo Lam City on Fire (Reservoir Dogs’ main source of inspiration if not more…) Prison on Fire Jean-Pierre Melville Le Doulos Le Samouraï Le Deuxième Souffle Elmore Leonard Pretty much every one of his novels is a treat. But my personal favorites are: Maximum Bob Stick La Brava Mr. Paradise Movie adaptations of Elmore Leonard’s work: Out of Sight Jackie Brown Get Shorty Dream CrewWell, I mentioned a dream cast but I also have wet dreams about an all-star crew obviously. Because who doesn’t ;-) Director of Photography: Christopher Doyle Production and Costume Designer : William Chang If you’ve seen a Wong Kar-wai movie, you’ve witnessed the mastery of these two legends. Sound Designer : Ren Klyce Look no further if you wonder how come David Fincher’s movies always sound this good. Editor : Thelma Schoonmaker The greatest of them all. Martin Scorsese’s editor from day 1. Need I say more… What's nextAs I briefly mentioned in the intro, I’ve been working my *** off trying to get that script noticed and read. Living in France, my contacts in LA are quite limited unfortunately, but that’s not gonna stop me from pushing some more everyday. And hopefully, my passion and enthusiasm for this story have been made apparent to you by now.The thing that would make me most happy is if you felt like sharing this post: "the more the merrier" as they say, right? And I’d also love to hear your opinion, feelings and ideas about the project. Last but not least, if you’re intrigued enough to want to read the script, that’s awesome too! And it’s the best compliment you could give me. So simply ask and you shall receive. And I reckon if enough people are interested, I’ll just as well put it online, making it accessible to everyone directly. So let me know in the comments. Thanks a lot for your time, really. It means a lot to me. I do hope you’ve had an enjoyable and entertaining (although quite long) read. Because when it comes down to it, that’s what screenwriting is all about, isn't it: to entertain people with stories we come up with. SEE YOU SPACE COWBOYS…(Yeah, that’s the perfect end song right there. And that’s the one I want over the end credits) The Seatbelts - The Real Folk Blues |
Hello there! submitted by jonathancozzo to jojojsownprivatesub [link] [comments] If you’ll allow me, let me tell you about this screenplay called ‘Eleven-7’. I’ve been working on it for almost two years now and it’s been selected to Scriptapalooza and other competitions (but didn’t make it to the final stages). I managed to get it read by a few players in the business and was hoping it’d be my entrance to the feature film world but I’m feeling more and more like that’s not gonna happen. But wether or not this story ever makes it to the big screen, I’d love to share it with you here and now, in as entertaining a way as I can. My aim really is to try and make it come to life in your mind through a collage showing you my vision, guiding you along the main events of the story, with visual references, songs selected for specific scenes, a dream cast and crew, and talk about some of my inspirations. It’s not a full summary of the script - simply because I don’t think those ever did justice to the stories they summarized - but it’ll give you a clear sense of what I feel this film could (and should) be. And hopefully it’ll make you want to read the script or even wish you could watch the movie! Who knows, maybe a couple people will enjoy the whole thing and my efforts will not have been in vain. Disclaimer: This is an experimental post that’s been approved by the mods. You should also know it’s going to run a little long, but please don’t freak out. https://preview.redd.it/jyrq90sb74z11.jpg?width=1760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4acbcfe5344978201cec1f21ab08a40d4fe66b0b Making a living with the art you create, now wouldn’t that be the dream! That’s all AKIRA and MIKE can talk about: the former is trying to get a novel published, the latter his music career going. But right now, these two twenty-somethings are stuck with the clerk job they got, working in a lousy all-night convenience store in some anonymous Chinatown. As their shift starts something feels off though, and before they know it the place becomes the battleground for Chinese Triads and Japanese Yakuza. To survive the night inside the store, the clerks will have to face modern-day samurai, geisha, rotten cops and a full-on mob war. A cross between ‘Clerks’ and ‘Kill Bill’ you might call it, and you wouldn’t be far off. But first things first. When I close my eyes and picture the film in my mind, here’re who come to mind for both those characters: Ross Butler as Akira Kikuchiwa - Born in China, Raised in Japan, Schooled in Europe, Struggling in America Lakeith Stanfield as Mike Wyatt - Born and bred in Big City, USA And here’s how I picture the place: Credit: Patrick Clelland Credit : Elsa Bleda Fight Club - Directed by David Fincher Cowboy Bebop - Created by Hajime Yatate (In case you’re wondering, that upside-down-number-seven-looking thing in the logo at the top of the page is indeed the number 7 in Chinese and Japanese.) But let’s get back to our story. The clerks’ night starts as it always does: boringly slow. Soon enough though, their first customer comes in, and he is quite a sight: very long, silky black hair with thin braids and tiny bells. Pale skin with dark makeup around the eyes to make them appear slanting. His beard, a perfectly groomed crossing between Fu Manchu and d’Artagnan. He’s wearing a baggy and colorful tracksuit, reminiscent of a kimono and hakama (the large traditional Japanese trousers worn for formal occasions). The finishing touch is the daisho hung on his belt: a matched pair of Japanese swords, one long, one short. We’ll call him THE SAMURAI-WANNABE. As the clerks spot him, they have to refrain their laughter. Adam Driver as The Samurai-Wannabe - Toshiro Mifune #1 Fan The Samurai-Wannabe glides through the aisles, studying their content. Mike keeps making fun of him but Akira starts on a rant over how that weirdo actually is the epitome of everything wrong with America, but also how that widespread ignorance actually makes it easier for the artistic type to be successful in the US than anywhere else in the world, where people know better. Mike gets offended but they’re interrupted by the Samurai-Wannabe making a phone call putting his hand over his mouth, and then rushing out in a hurry. Mike: Please tell me it’s not gonna be one of those nights again.... Later on, the song 'Driftin and Driftin' is playing over the store’s speakers. The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - Driftin' and Driftin' - Live All of a sudden, another white man runs in. Sweaty, out of breath and scared out of his wits. He leans against a shelf and glances out the window, wary. And while the song’s instrumental chorus kicks in (2 min into the video above), with the whole horn section giving us a run for our money, Mike spots this man. The man of his dreams. The man we shall henceforth refer to as DREAM BOY. Timothée Chalamet as Dream Boy As he starts browsing, Mike decides to go talk to him. But before he can say anything, TRIADS MEMBERS burst into the store and wreck the place, searching for Dream Boy and threatening Akira. Mike helps Dream Boy sneak into the storage room unnoticed and escape through the service exit, setting off the alarm. The Triads chase after him, but not before warning the clerks they’ll be back for retribution. The clerks are in a complete state of shock. What’s more, they’re now being placed between a rock and a hard place because the store is actually used by the Yakuza - the Triads’ sworn enemies - to launder money. Mike: Dude, we’re just, so, f**ked. This is exactly the shit nightmares are made of, know what I mean. When the next best thing a black man and an Asian man can do is call the cops.... That’s the opening act in a nutshell. From there, as you can imagine, the clerks will fall deeper and deeper into trouble while trying to make it through the night alive. In order to spice things up a bit for Act 2, I’d like to talk you through a few set pieces in more details while focusing less on the narrative progression. Think of it as snippets that’d be used in the trailers, only longer and more developed. For your own reading pleasure. THE COPS As Akira and Mike wait for the Yakuza to arrive, TWO ASIAN POLICE OFFICERS drop by. They walk around the store like they own the place, contemplating in heavy silence the chaos the Triads left in their wake. Nobody Knows - Directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda Cop #1 stops right in Mike’s face, checking him out from head to toe and back. Cop #2 thoroughly inspects the store, paying no mind to the clerks. The cops eventually reveal they’re looking for Dream Boy, showing them a picture of him. Mike makes the mistake of asking for his name. Cop #1 slaps him in the face. Cop #1: I’m the one asks questions here. But I figure you’re entitled to know on account how dangerous he is. You see, this young man here has killed two people so far and we know he’s hiding ‘round here somewhere. Now, if you think you’re fooling anyone, it’s only yourselves. We know you’re in deep over your heads here. And we’re nice guys, really. We wanna help. But our reach can only go so far and we don’t have the time to f**k around. So it would be quite unfortunate to learn that you had information that woulda made our lives easier and you didn’t feel like sharing it. Know what I mean? So I’ll ask one last time - and before you answer, think hard. Have you seen this man?Akira’s face loses all color. Fear hits him in the stomach. Both cops’ pair of eyes flashes. Cop #1 seems contented. He exchanges a brief look with his partner. Cop #2 makes his neck crack. Cop #1: As I’m sure you can tell, your answer isn’t the one we need right now. But it’s damn sure the one we want. See, the only thing standing between you and my pardner right now, is me.Behind him, Cop #2 can barely stand still. Mike: Oh, so that would make you the good cop then, am I right?Behind him, Cop #2 is getting restless. Mike: You guys must rehearse a lot, don’t you.Cop #1 can’t help but laugh with surprise and pleasure. He puts his hand on Mike’s shoulder. Cop #1 (Turning to Cop #2): Oh man, how do like them apples? I love this kid.Turning back to Mike, he sucker punches him right beneath the rib cage. Mike can’t breathe anymore. The pain is excruciating. He curls up on himself, his forehead touching his knees. Cop #1 gives him an I-told-you-so look. Waits for him to get his breathing back up and going. Akira is petrified. Cop #1 turns to him, showing displeasure on his face. Raising his hand toward Mike’s shoulder: Cop #1: Come on, now. You can stand up. It’s ok. Breathe.Mike stands up, still holding his stomach. Cop #1: So? We friends again? We good? (Not leaving enough time for a reply) Good. Again. The man in the picture. Have you seen him?Mike is about to crack but: Akira: No, we haven’t.He gives Akira a small slap on the cheek. Cop #1: But kids, if you see him, don’t start anything stupid. The man’s the kinda people you don’t wanna be messing with. So just give me a call, okay?He reaches for a pen and piece of paper on the counter and writes down a cell phone number. Mike: What’s his name? The guy.Cop #1 stops writing and, still leaning on the counter, glares at Mike. All is silent. Cop #1 (Articulating every word): His name is Robert Paulson.Cop #1 drops the pen on the counter and straightens back up. Cop #1 (Looking intently at Mike): I’m counting on you boys. So if anything comes to mind - and I do mean anything - call me.He puts the piece of paper in Mike’s chest pocket and lewdly puts his hand on the cheek. Cop #1 (Menacing once again): Not that you’re giving us any reason to doubt you but... We’ll be back later on. Just in case. SWORD DUEL On one side, you’ve got: Shun Oguri as Itachi Shimura - Rightful heir to the Yakuza throne There’s something Christopher Walken about this guy’s ways. And he’s dressed like Kiryu from the 'Yakuza' video games. Kiryu from the 'Yakuza' video game series On the other side, the Samurai-Wannabe who just stepped in as Itachi was cornering the clerks and holding a sheathed katana. Samurai-Wannabe: Get away from ‘em, you bitch-ass!With his left thumb, Samurai Sam lifts his wakizashi, his shorter sword, a few centimeters from its sheath, thus gaining several precious milliseconds in case of drawing. The movement comes with a sharp, metallic cling sound. Itachi laughs his head off. Itachi: You never fail to bring a smile to my face, Sam, you know that.He takes slow, assured steps toward Itachi. His left hand still holding his sheath. Samurai Sam (In Japanese, with a noticeable American accent): I’ve warned you before, do no mock me.And so it begins. Now if I may, I’d like to point you in the direction of what I consider to be the greatest sword duel in the history of cinema. I’m referring of course to the climax of Japanese movie ‘Samurai Rebellion’, directed by Masaki Kobayashi and starring none other than Toshiro Mifune and Tatsuya Nakadai. Samurai Rebellion Duel This scene’s cat-and-mouse game (if one can call it that) before the first blow is my main reference for the duel between Itachi and Samurai Sam. The fight arrives right at the end of Act 2 and will function as a release to all the tension that’s been building up until now. Therefore, before letting everything go, I really want to get the audience worked up one last time to as critical a level as humanly possible. So, after a few minutes of gauging one another, circling one way, stopping, circling the other way, the duelists stop, strengthen their standing foot… And jump at each other. Samurai Sam is much quicker on the draw, his sword being shorter. The only way for Itachi to block Samurai Sam’s killing blow is to leave his blade in its sheath and parry with it. As the blades meet, a primal, drums-only song kicks in. This one: Hikaru Hayashi - Onibaba (1964) Samurai Sam is on the offensive, bombarding Itachi with hits and remaining very close to him to prevent him from drawing. Every time Itachi takes a step away to get some space between them, Samurai Sam rushes back in to close the gap. Itachi is struggling to keep up as Samurai Sam is proving to be a much better fighter than anticipated. The Yakuza starts fighting dirty, using his feet and elbows to strike Samurai Sam lightning-fast and painful blows. After a particularly strong attack, Itachi jumps back and creates an opportunity to finally draw his sword. As he’s taking his katana out, Samurai Sam runs and pushes it back in its sheath with the left hand while putting his blade on Itachi’s throat with the right hand. They freeze, staring each other in the eye, knowing Samurai Sam has won. Both are breathing heavily but otherwise remain silent. As Samurai Sam backs down and takes a step away, Itachi kicks him in the belly with his foot, effectively making him back up several meters away. Itachi draws his sword, holding it with one hand and the damaged sheath in the other. He’s asking for blood. Samurai Sam raises his sword and resumes his fighting stance. Now they begin to circle again. They both go on the attack with a deep grunt. The fight becoming even more brutal than before. Itachi is harassing Samurai Sam using both his sword and sheath, his reach being much longer than Samurai Sam’s. Samurai Sam is biding his time, blocking swing after swing, seemingly losing ground but working like a spring being compressed by an immense force. Eventually, Itachi gets cocky and Samurai Sam sees a window opening. He jumps in, all in, ready for the final blow. Only, Itachi set the trap perfectly and blocks Samurai Sam’s sword with his sheath. The attack is so strong, the blade gets stuck inside the splintered sheath. With one swift circular move, Itachi makes both his sheath and Samurai Sam’s sword fall down to the ground. As well as a thumb. Samurai Sam’s right thumb. Samurai Sam drops to his knees, holding his hand tight as thick, dark blood pours out. THE FIRE Following the duel, Itachi walks away without looking back, telling his Yakuza to torch the place down. As Tears Go By - Directed by Wong Kar-wai Akira: You’re not destroying my store, you hear.Itachi stops and turns his head around. He smiles, amused. Itachi: Beat ‘em up. Let ‘em burn too.Akira slowly comes to, hardly managing to open his eyes, feeling the pain going through his every muscle. He is lying on the floor, knocked out. He looks like he took a serious beating. And not the Hollywood-pretty kind. The now-you’re-really-gonna-be-in-pain-for-the-remainder-of-the-movie kind. His swollen, sweaty face catches the glowing light of a fire growing. Everything looks blurry to him. Beside him, two dark, indistinct shapes lie still on the floor. Most probably Mike and Samurai Sam. When Akira realizes the store is on fire, the fog clouding his mind clears up somewhat and he tries to stand up. But his bruised body doesn’t comply. All he can do is crawl pathetically and ploddingly. The first shape he encounters is that of Mike. After shouting his name, shaking him up and slapping him a few times, Akira manages to pull him out of his drowsiness. Samurai Sam won’t wake up though. The clerks try and drag him out but he seems to be weighing a ton. After an inordinate amount of effort, the clerks barely managed to move him a couple yards. The exit seems so far out of reach. Fire is in the way. And their eyes still can’t quite keep things in focus. The smoke is filling up the place and makes it harder and harder to breathe. All is lost. Or so it seemed: out of nowhere, four bright and colorful, little, blurry shapes pop out, flying around at incredible speed. A fifth, all black, soon joins in. Akira can’t believe his eyes. And freezes. Everything to him sounds like it’s taking place underwater. Maybe what he’s hearing are voices, who knows. Certainly not him. The colorful shapes spread a magic white dust over the fire, extinguishing the flames. Then they run to another fire source and do it all over again. Their frantic activity looks to Akira like it’s all a beautiful ballet in slow motion. Akira: Angels.He turns over and sees Mike being taken away by one of them. One of the angels floats over to Akira and leans over him. It’s a woman, A YOUNG JAPANESE WOMAN with a face as white as silk and bright red lips. A geisha. She’s saying something. But Akira can’t make out the words and remains serenely smiling, gazing at all her splendor. Karen Fukuhara as Kaori Oshiro Akira (Babbling): Kaori-san?The geisha repeats herself, to no avail. She loses patience, calls over another geisha and they drag Akira to a safe area. Akira (Still in a daze): Kaori-san, I must... tell you something.They leave him near the store counter, where Mike is already sitting down. A couple of geisha finish putting out the fire with fire extinguishers as the other three drag Samurai Sam near the clerks. When everyone is out of danger and everything is in the clear, the five women line up in front of the three men. The one in the center is A MIDDLE-AGED ASIAN WOMAN wearing a traditional black silk kimono with a black obi (sash). Li Gong as Himoko Shimura AKA Okasan - Proprietress of the Geisha house (Yep, I know, she’s not Japanese. But don’t worry, it’ll make sense when you read the whole script. And I’m not going to reveal much about her character here but she’s actually at the very centre of the whole plot.) She also happens to be Itachi’s mother. The other four women look to be in their twenties. THE CLIMAX Obviously this film wouldn’t be any good as a single-location thriller without a huge Mexican standoff involving every single character for a climax. And so that’s what we’re doing here. But… I don’t really feel like going into the details. And it’s not because I’m particularly sadistic, it’s just that the payoff works best when everything has been set up thoroughly; and this would necessitate an even longer post. And nobody wants that. So what I’ll say is this: there’s this plan the clerks come up with to get everything nice and settled. It involves playing the Yakuza and Triads against one another, through the help of the Cops (who happen to be working for the Triads). But it also requires they kill a man. A very bad man at that. But no matter what, however justified they might be, killing someone in cold blood is a big f**king deal. Anyway, as we get to the final set-piece, things don’t go as planned (duh, did I really need to write that?). One second, you think you’re home free, the next you’ve got a shotgun stuck in your face. People don’t react as you expected them to. And to make matters worse, as sh*t is about to get real, a mystery guest steps in. A MIDDLE-AGED, slightly grizzled, impeccably groomed, ASIAN MAN. Poker-faced, a long and thin cigar gracefully held in his mouth. And piercing eyes. Tony Leung Chiu-wai What happens next, you ask? Well, don’t look at me, ‘cause I won’t tell you. For that, you’ll need to read the screenplay for yourself. But I can promise you the extra effort will make the experience 100% better. And if you’ve read this far, well first of all, let me thank you dearly. I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to me. I do hope you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read. And that you’d like to know more. InspirationsAnd as it happens, just because I don’t want to give away the ending doesn’t mean I can’t tell you what inspired me to write that story. As you can imagine, this script owes a lot to movies I’ve watched and love.In terms of references, obviously I’m leaning toward Tarantino (namely 'Reservoir Dogs' and 'Kill Bill') and some Kevin Smith. But also early Guy Ritchie, and a good touch of Richard Linklater. So it’s basically very American-Independent-Cinema-of-the-90s oriented. But there’s also a whole lot of Japanese Yakuza movies of the 70s and Hong Kong Triads movies of the 90s going on as well … which kinda still makes it American-Independent-Cinema-of-the-90s oriented! And the main inspiration for me is Japanese director Kinji Fukasaku. You probably know (of) him through his final film: 'Battle Royale'. But his peak was in the 70s, a decade when he was churning out around three or four films a year, most of them involving Yakuza. His films offer a level of vitality seldom found in movies nowadays. His way of dealing with crowds, movements and rhythms is so engrossing that - in my view - it’s rarely surpassed (and only by master directors such as Akira Kurosawa and Orson Welles). His camerawork knows no equal when it comes to handheld - something I usually get tired of extremely quickly - and blending it with more traditional techniques. And I can’t praise his use of the zoom enough: after watching a couple of his films, you have to wonder why most filmmakers working today forgo such an amazing and powerful tool. I can also mention Seijun Suzuki, who was a stronghold of the Japanese New Wave in the 60s. He made jazz-infused gangster movies, experimenting with the format, the sets and colors… Very trippy stuff. 'Cowboy Bebop', an awesome anime that I’ll recommend any day of the week even to people who don’t like anime. Put it simply, that series got everything: great characters, profound themes, an amazing art work and a killer soundtrack. It’s a noir story set in the future where we follow a bunch of down-on-their-luck bounty hunters looking for contracts all over the solar system. Obviously, Akira Kurosawa was never far away in my mind. And he didn’t just inspire the name of one of the main characters, I can tell you that. Putting it plainly, in my opinion, Kurosawa made more great - and even perfect - movies than any other director. Samurai, noir, thrillers, adventure… you name it, he did it and usually better than anybody else. Crossing over to China, and mentioning the obvious first: Wong Kar-wai. He’s one of the very few directors whose movies you can feel every frame of. You feel the walls, the rain, the fabric of the clothes, the make-up, the hair lotions… And needless to say, you feel for the characters as well. My personal favorite is '2046'. Any Hong Kong movie made in the 90s or early-00s starring Tony Leung also is a personal must-watch. From John Woo flicks to the ‘Infernal Affairs’ trilogy (remade by Scorsese as ‘The Departed’), you can’t go wrong. Which also applies to the films starring Chow Yun-fat. French noir master Jean-Pierre Melville. Before Michael Mann came along, he was the absolute king of the mute protagonist. His writing and directing are both economical and slick. NWR’s ‘Drive’ would just not be the same without the films of “L’Homme au Stetson” (the Man wearing the Stetson). Oh man, I realize I’m getting so worked up thinking about all those movies. I’ll try and contain myself and just make a little list. But before that, some novels were also a great source of inspiration. Elmore Leonard comes to mind first and foremost. More than specific stories, it’s his incredible way of writing that influenced me. What’s truly amazing about it is he limits himself to pretty basic grammar, a small number of words (couple hundreds), no adverbs, and his descriptions are always written from the chapter’s main character’s point of view. Leonard’s style doesn’t bring attention to itself (one of his rules is “If it sounds like writing, rewrite it”) and yet it’s recognizable in just a few sentences and I don’t think it has any equals. The thing is, his writing always feels right for the story he’s telling. That’s something that inspires me a lot and that I try to incorporate in my own work (but I’ll admit I can’t bring myself to ban adverbs!). Mood boardHere are visuals from various sources that I think convey quite well the atmosphere, the textures and colors I have in mind for this movie. Credit: M. Vida Ilych (edited) Credit: Toby Harvard Credit: Liam Wong Credit: Luciana Giachino I’ve reached the limit of allowed pictures in one post (20) so I’ll just add a few films which visuals are close to what I picture Eleven-7 to look like: Fight Club, directed by David Fincher Taxi Driver, directed by Martin Scorsese 25th Hour, directed by Spike Lee Norma Rae, directed by Martin Ritt Nobody Knows, directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda Buffalo ’66 directed by Vincent Gallo As Tears Go By directed by Wong Kar-wai Happy Together directed by Wong Kar-wai Suggested viewing and readingKinji FukasakuGamblers in Okinawa AKA Sympathy for the Underdog (Bakuto gaijin butai) Graveyard of Honor (Jingi no hakaba) Battles Without Honor and Humanity AKA The Yakuza Papers (Jingi naki tatakai) Seijun Suzuki Tokyo Drifter (Tokyo Nagaremono) Branded to Kill (Koroshi no rakuin) Akira Kurosawa Yōjinbō Throne of Blood (Kumonosu-jô) High and Low (Tengoku to Jigoku) Johnny To The Mission Exiled John Woo Hard boiled Bullet in the Head Tsui Hark A Better Tomorrow Ringo Lam City on Fire (Reservoir Dogs’ main source of inspiration if not more…) Prison on Fire Jean-Pierre Melville Le Doulos Le Samouraï Le Deuxième Souffle Elmore Leonard Pretty much every one of his novels is a treat. But my personal favorites are: Maximum Bob Stick La Brava Mr. Paradise Movie adaptations of Elmore Leonard’s work: Out of Sight Jackie Brown Get Shorty Dream CrewWell, I mentioned a dream cast but I also have wet dreams about an all-star crew obviously. Because who doesn’t ;-) Director of Photography: Christopher Doyle Production and Costume Designer : William Chang If you’ve seen a Wong Kar-wai movie, you’ve witnessed the mastery of these two legends. Sound Designer : Ren Klyce Look no further if you wonder how come David Fincher’s movies sound this good. Editor : Thelma Schoonmaker The greatest of them all. Martin Scorsese’s editor from day 1. Need I say more… Underlying themesSure I intend ‘Eleven-7’ to be as entertaining a movie as possible. But at the end of the day, beyond all the thrills and fun of it, it’s really a movie about the feeling of belonging, the need to find one’s place in life and to be centered… put against the crushing reality of racism and intolerance.What I want to tap into and explore is the sense of frustration that piles up when you can’t seem to make any progress toward reaching that goal. A feeling I seem to share with people around the same age (you know, those pesky millennials walking around like they rent the place? Them). What's nextAs I briefly mentioned in the intro, I’ve been working my *** off trying to get that script noticed and read. Living in France, my contacts in LA are quite limited unfortunately, but that’s not gonna stop me from pushing some more everyday. And hopefully, my passion and enthusiasm for this story has been made apparent to you by now.The thing that would make me the most happy is if you felt like sharing this post around: as they say, the more the merrier, right? And I’d also love to hear your opinion, feelings and ideas about the project. Last but not least, if you’re intrigued enough to want to read the script, that’s awesome too! And it’s the best compliment you could give me. So simply ask and you shall receive. And I reckon if enough people are interested, I’ll just as well put it online, making it accessible to everyone directly. So let me know in the comments. Thanks a lot for your time, really. It means a lot to me. I do hope you’ve had an enjoyable and entertaining (although quite long) read. Because when it comes down to it, that’s what screenwriting is all about, isn't it: to entertain people with stories we come up with. SEE YOU SPACE COWBOYS…(Yeah, that’s the perfect end song right there. And that’s the one I want over the end credits) The Seatbelts - The Real Folk Blues |
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